Sunday, October 7, 2007

Ho Ho Ho! Christmas Comes Early!

Man, it has been a great week. Other than the kids getting the tummy flu, I mean, it has been a really great week! One of the many highlights included Santa Claus finishing her shopping for the kids - One limited edition, almost out of stock, Nikki - girl of the year American Girl Doll, and the ever elusive Nintendo Wii! Santa has never been so generous, EVER. (Santa has been peddling stuff on Ebay for months. )

I already know what I want for Christmas...Internal conflict. Well, not for me, for my characters. I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one. I write a scene, and toss it. I type all day and then hit delete. The conflict that seems so obvious to me, does not present itself in my writing in an obvious way, or even in an obtuse way. I thought it was genius at first, lending my character a bit of a selfish flaw - but it sits there on the edge of my mind hovering, taunting me at every waking moment.

We know that conflict is what interferes with a character meeting his or her goals. We also know that these said goals are spearheaded by our character’s motivation. This is where I seem to get lost in my head, the a dark forest with so many twist and turns it makes a compass spin.

Perhaps to solve the conundrum of conflict we need to back up. Here is where I am running into trouble. Follow me here:
Internal Conflict for my heroine: (Naming it was the easy part) “fear of abandonment”

OK, this is a paralyzing fear for many people. Now, how does this interfere with her goal, or more specifically what is her internal goal? Well, if she wants to live alone alone she will never worry about feeling abandoned. But living alone would be external, not internal, right? If she surrounds her self with many people, not wait...still external. Internal goal and internal motivation. Find security and true love..well, no not if our heroine is focused on saving her brother and keeping him safe. She has raised him, and she is the only mother he has known. A-hem...External Jackie...get back to the internal. Ok, Internal goals: Security, Safety, to sleep at night and not have to worry about who will take care of them. To feel secure and know that her family will not leave her. Motivation? She is overwhelmed and terrified that yet another person will leave her alone with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Do you feel like your head is spinning? Well, mine does! Does that make sense to you? Let us recap:

Internal Goal: To FEEL secure and safe from harm.

Internal Motivation: She is overwhelmed and terrified to be left with more responsibility.

Internal Conflict: Fear of abandonment is paralyzing her from doing the things she needs to do procure safety and security.

Wow, for the first time in months I feel like I am getting somewhere. This blog started as a desperate Christmas wish, and the universe instantly answered my prayers as I wrote! All I needed to do is just ask. OK - Here is your assignment for this week. Blog about what you are having trouble with. Ask for your enlightenment. Sit back and write as it is divinely given to you.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

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