Monday, May 26, 2008

Cinderwriter Moons Van Full of Chaperones!

Yes, you read the title correctly!  After chaperoning my daughter's second grade field trip to Chinatown, a mini-van full of moms dropped me off at the end of the alley behind my house.  As I took off jogging down the road, my pants dropped off my body and fell to my ankles.  I am not making this up.  As I unsuccessfully tried to snatch them back up, I turned around to see if the van was still parked behind me.  To my absolute horror it had not moved!  Praying that the passengers in the van or the people walking in the alley could not see me, I backed up and hid behind an enormous community mail box and remedied the situation.  I was completely mortified.  Thank God I was wearing my plain, boring chocolate brown Body By Victoria underwear, and not the Victoria's Secret undies that say "Sexy" across the bottom! Dear Lord.   I promptly snuck into the back of the house and called my husband to tell him the tale.  Here is the dialog:

Carl:  Hysterical laughing for many long agonizing minutes

Cinderwriter: Large sigh.

Carl: "Well, at least it did not happen in front of the bus while the entire second grade watched"

Cinderwriter: "Can we move tomorrow?"

Carl: More laughter

Cinderwriter: mumbling  "No sex for you for a year."

Carl: Stops laughing.

I can just hear the whispers of rumors now: "Major Wooten's wife was streaking through officer housing!".  By next week it will be: "Major's wife does a strip tease in full daylight for van of  lesbian stay at home mothers!"

Next Field Trip I will shoot for a Wet T-Shirt Contest among the Chaperones.  

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